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PostPosted: Sun Apr 22, 2018 9:33 am 
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Joined: Mon May 16, 2011 1:05 pm
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Location: Reading
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Keeping your wits about you is always sound advice. That said, I read a great book called “Protecting the Gift” years ago. The title sounds a bit cheesy, but the writer had significant experience of criminal investigation and the gift in question is your biological instinct to know whom to trust, with a corollary that you should listen very carefully when your instincts are telling you to be wary of someone.

One of the messages that stuck with me is that the person a child (or presumably an adult) approaches for help is safer than the random adult who spots someone vulnerable and gets involved. Blanket warnings about not talking to strangers are ridiculous and unhelpful. People need the confidence to approach someone when they’re stuck and it’s helpful to have some experience of talking to others and recognising that there are more good people than bad. In any case, a huge proportion of murders, assaults and s... abuse is committed by someone known to the victim - often a spouse, a parent or a close relative. Stranger danger is far less likely statistically.


This. All this. I’ve never told DD not to talk to strangers as such, as there’s been times that obviously she has needed to. It has always been difficult to get her to talk to anyone anyway, so I didn’t want to add yet another hurdle on top. It’s being aware of your surroundings.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 22, 2018 9:04 pm 
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Joined: Wed Mar 13, 2013 7:28 pm
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Thanks for all your replies.
With regards to how sheltered our DD has been and why: I suppose as with a lot of things what is very sheltered for one person is not at all sheltered for another. Compared to MY childhood she has been highly sheltered - but compared to some of her friends she hasn’t been that sheltered.
She has travelled abroad every summer for the last four years, 3 of which were highly organised with chaperones and activities with someone picking her up at the airport the other end. Last summer she got a true university experience left to her own devices for three weeks at an American uni including travelling on her own on a greyhound across some parts of the US.
She has never had a boy friend (no real reason except went to all girls senior school and has never met anyone she wanted to be with I think).
When I was her age I used to go clubbing in London etc but she and her friends have just never been wanting to do that. I think she is quite grateful I don’t do it anymore!! :lol:


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2018 7:00 am 
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Joined: Fri Sep 15, 2006 8:51 am
Posts: 9646
Avidskier - I think some of the problem is that a lot of the kids do seem to be more sheltered than we were - I was put on train from Birmingham to Elgin at the age of 13 changing at Edinburgh and Inverness, no mobile phone / online timetables etc just the guard to point me in the right direction at Edinburgh and money for the phone box if I got stuck (though not sure what anyone planned to do about it.
Went to Uni in London which I think was actually rather safer (at that time) than some towns as it never "went to sleep" you could be out at and about at any hour and there were always people around.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2018 2:44 pm 
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Joined: Sun Sep 07, 2014 1:47 pm
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One issue every parent needs to discuss with their children I believe is the issue of substance abuse in whichever form they are presented.Whether these are
1.Alcohol,
2.Cigarettes,
3.Class A drugs(Cocaine,Heroin,Crack, Ecstasy),
4.Class B drugs(Amphetamines,Cannabis,Cathinones)
5.Class C Drugs(Ketamine,GBH/GBL,Steroids,BZP)
6.Bath salts,Nitrous Oxide/Balloons.

I expected the first two but I was surprised to the extent that some of the others were now more prevalent on University campuses in contrast to my time as a student.In her final year my eldest dd did a group consultancy project as part of her degree in conjunction with her University,local Council and the local Police which partly involved surveys in the student population on substance abuse.I read the final report which now informs the thinking of the stakeholders.As parents we should recognise that approximately 1 in 2 home students at University may sporadically or regularly be involved in substance abuse at University other than alcohol and cigarettes.I am aware this is an issue for young people at all Universities.It hit home when dropping my daughter off at University in her shared accommodation on the second occasion in the first year when I strongly smelt the cannabis.In her group of 10 six were abusing substances other than alcohol and cigarettes.It is an open reminder to not assume that at University it will be someone else's child in that position.

While it is very true that we live in one of the more safer countries in the world it was true while my eldest went to University female students had been raped and students robbed while walking from the University to their accommodation late at night.

Two precautions we advised our eldest dd upon was whenever it was very late to use an uber taxi because she would know the registration mark of the taxi and the name and photo of the driver would be revealed.Apart from the fact it was generally cheaper.When in nightclubs always to go in a group and leave with your group.When purchasing a drink to never leave it out of your sight.When they ever did leave the drink to go for a dance or were called away to always purchase another.She very rarely never had more than two drinks in a nightclub.Like most students they drank before they went and sometimes after.To never get so drunk to not be in control of yourself in such environments.She learnt quickly herself nightclubs weren't her scene.

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In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.

Abraham Lincoln


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2018 4:41 pm 
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Joined: Fri Mar 10, 2017 4:06 pm
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Bath salts? :shock:

Have the kids these days started snorting Radox or is it the name of a new designer drug an old fuddy-duddy like me isn't familiar with? :?


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2018 4:52 pm 
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Joined: Sun Sep 07, 2014 1:47 pm
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Surferfish wrote:
Bath salts? :shock:

Have the kids these days started snorting Radox or is it the name of a new designer drug an old fuddy-duddy like me isn't familiar with? :?


https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/ ... bath-salts

This is a US government website.

_________________
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.

Abraham Lincoln


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2018 8:43 pm 
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Joined: Wed Mar 13, 2013 7:28 pm
Posts: 104
Quasimodo - Holy Moly!
I feel so out of my depth..
A bit like those senators interrogating a certain Facebook executive.
Thank you.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2018 7:09 pm 
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Joined: Sun Sep 07, 2014 1:47 pm
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http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-43892950

An article on substance abuse at University.

_________________
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.

Abraham Lincoln


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 28, 2018 9:36 am 
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Joined: Tue Nov 17, 2009 6:16 pm
Posts: 139
There's a very informative document by the Suzy Lamplugh Trust called the Parent's Handbook. For those of you who don't know or remember, Suzy Lamplugh was a young estate agent who went to show a 'Mr Kipper' around a house for sale, about 20-30 years ago now. She disappeared, never to be seen again and was eventually declared dead many years later but no body was ever found. They never traced 'Mr Kipper'.

The Handbook is all about personal safety but also about avoiding being a victim, how to say 'no', etc. Although this booklet is a little old, much of it is still relevant. It is aimed at parents of school-age teenagers beginning to be more independent but still living at home, I would suggest. However, I believe it is very relevant to those going off to Uni no matter how street savvy or not they may already be. It's in an easy to read format so I think could just be given to them to read direct.

I only have a downloaded copy so cannot put on a link but I'm sure it can still be found under google.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 28, 2018 12:18 pm 
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Joined: Mon May 16, 2011 1:05 pm
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Location: Reading
https://www.suzylamplugh.org/Pages/FAQs ... nal-safety

If you scroll down there’s section for students.


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