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PostPosted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 3:09 pm 
Anonymous wrote:
Enough of the porkies now!

The real reason your 'husband' does not want to send your daughter private is more down to his reluctance (or inability) to pay the fees and not for fear of "who she might mix with".

I stand by my opinion of over-rated Oxbridge! The UK educational system in general needs to raise its standards, and fast!


How funny and traditional that is. Ah, but you see, it is I the wage earner in our house and, I can assure you, I have a substantial wedge - though it makes little difference to me if you believe that or not (and I certainly don't feel superior to those of my friends who have none). That I listen to his view, whilst not agreeing with it entirely (although you do help him here) is because I believe that as her stay-at-home parent, he has the right to say what he wants for his child too and my having the money is no excuse to dismiss that. It must be hard for you to imagine that not all of us would make the same choices. That it is not only about the cash.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 4:05 pm 
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/displayPop ... 71,00.html

The above link compares British Universities. On this scale Oxford and Cambridge are at the top. As most British people want their children to study at a British University (sweeping statement, I realise), it is perhaps only natural that they look at the universities at the top of the table.

However, it is up to each candidate to decide which is the best university for their chosen subject; and also to choose universities which they stand a chance of getting into.

With the introduction of tuition fees, I think many more British students will look to study abroad. There are an increasing number of English language medium courses being offered at universities in Continental Europe. I personally would prefer my children to study at an English university on a programme which includes a year of study in Europe. That way they get the experience, but coming home for the holidays won't be too expensive.

Do you think that someone who has been at a US university will come back at settle down in the UK or stay to work in the States? Maybe, maybe not.

I know two young people who are currently working in the US. It is a long way from home, and they don't get the same level of Annual Leave as we do in Europe. If you only want to see your children every couple of years, then encourage them to move to the States. Either that, or you'll end up shelling out to visit them (and need to run the gamut of US immigration). Why do you think Americans come and work over here?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 4:46 pm 
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Enough of the porkies now!

The real reason your 'husband' does not want to send your daughter private is more down to his reluctance (or inability) to pay the fees and not for fear of "who she might mix with".

I stand by my opinion of over-rated Oxbridge! The UK educational system in general needs to raise its standards, and fast!


How funny and traditional that is. Ah, but you see, it is I the wage earner in our house and, I can assure you, I have a substantial wedge - though it makes little difference to me if you believe that or not (and I certainly don't feel superior to those of my friends who have none). That I listen to his view, whilst not agreeing with it entirely (although you do help him here) is because I believe that as her stay-at-home parent, he has the right to say what he wants for his child too and my having the money is no excuse to dismiss that. It must be hard for you to imagine that not all of us would make the same choices. That it is not only about the cash.


Oh, and by the way. We shall have to agree to differ. My eldest two are thriving at Cambridge and I am very happy for them and the choices they made for themselves . It is a delight to behold them growing, and i am proud of their kind natures. When your son is at Yale or MIT or which ever university he choses for himself, I hope he will find much happiness


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 5:06 pm 
sj355 wrote:
Quote:
Then, someone like that whips away my argument in a thrice. It speaks of class and has none.


Is this the English way of class sniffing or just a vacuous remark?
Vacuous, no. As for the class sniffing thing..perhaps. It is hard for me to know. I am rich having started adult life poor. My children are decidedly middle class, and but for the trappings, I don't belong in either camp. 'Class' to me is not making the other feel bad for being 'other'. I cannot admire anyone who aspires to cock a snoot at someone for having less, or those who despise the child for being born with more. Thus, I am always the devils advocate

Quote:
It can shout into the wind.


Do you do that often? Sounds scary! :lol:
When I am pre-menstral, there is a distinct risk. LOL You obviously know that I meant - for all the talk of superiority back there..there was certainly little shown in terms of humility.

Quote:
..and pray, who is Larry. I am not being arch here. I just don't know.


Lawrence Summers, hugely respected economist, former secretary of the treasury, and (more relevantly here) president of Harvard between 2001-2006; has left after some non hugely respected comments about womens' mathematically ability. I think the new president is a woman!!!
Thank you. I was unaware.



Regards,

INEX


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 5:34 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 02, 2006 3:07 pm
Posts: 1149
Location: Finchley - Barnet
Quote:
How funny and traditional that is. Ah, but you see, it is I the wage earner in our house and, I can assure you, I have a substantial wedge -


OK, this is a coincidence as I am also the wage earner in the house, although as an academic I do not have a substantial wage! My husband holds similar reservations to those of yours (and he is the stay-at-home parent as well!), but I have gradually convinced him otherwise with two arguments:
a) not all children that attend an independent school are rich (in one of the schools I have applied to 1/5 of the pupils are bursary holders) and
b) silliness is not only a priviledge of the rich, hence it will not be avoided by simply going to a state school.

As for class, oh well: I come from a rich (not very though) family, but being Greek I suppose we are all peasants!

Well done to your son! I was at Cambridge myself and had one of the best periods of my life there. I am sure you are very pround of him, and not only because of the the Uni he attends. There is nothing wrong in celebrating the achievements of our children.

All the best,

INEX

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sj355


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 6:29 pm 
sj355 wrote:
Quote:
How funny and traditional that is. Ah, but you see, it is I the wage earner in our house and, I can assure you, I have a substantial wedge -


OK, this is a coincidence as I am also the wage earner in the house, although as an academic I do not have a substantial wage! My husband holds similar reservations to those of yours (and he is the stay-at-home parent as well!), but I have gradually convinced him otherwise with two arguments:
a) not all children that attend an independent school are rich (in one of the schools I have applied to 1/5 of the pupils are bursary holders) and
b) silliness is not only a priviledge of the rich, hence it will not be avoided by simply going to a state school.

As for class, oh well: I come from a rich (not very though) family, but being Greek I suppose we are all peasants!

Well done to your son! I was at Cambridge myself and had one of the best periods of my life there. I am sure you are very pround of him, and not only because of the the Uni he attends. There is nothing wrong in celebrating the achievements of our children.

All the best,

INEX


Indeed there is not. It is always good to hear from someone whose experiences are similar. My take on it is much the same as yours. There are idiots in all walks of life, as are there gentle, wise and loving souls.
I was not fortunate enough to go to university. I envy you your experiences (in a happy way) . My arguments re. private school were the same as yours. I see my eldest with their confident and articulate ways, having had their pick of universities' (and here am I wondering if that is how it is spelt in the plural) and would wish that for my third. To no avail unfortunately. So I am waiting for the 11+ results and hoping she did well in her exam to get into a school that somehow approaches the standards enjoyed by her siblings. Eitherway, she is a happy, brave, adventurous spirit and I want that for my girl.
Good luck with your applications. I hope you are offered your favourite and that your child thrives.
Best wishes

ps my elder daughter's best freind at prep school was greek and a more welcoming family I have yet to meet. We are french.. and really were
peasants. LOL


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 9:58 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 02, 2006 3:07 pm
Posts: 1149
Location: Finchley - Barnet
Thank you for your very kind words. Likewise for your little girl (shall I take it that you have not applied to any independents for the reasons just mentioned, and she only awaits for her 11+ results? A pity if this is the case)

All the very best in any case,

INEX

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sj355


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 9:53 am 
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Joined: Mon Dec 05, 2005 3:01 pm
Posts: 250
Location: Richmond
I suspect that with all the tinkering the govt is trying to do with all universities - not just Oxbridge standards will inevitably fall. Instead of looking at raising standards in state schools to give state pupils a fair crack at the best universities they prefer to fiddle the entrance criteria. For that reason I keep an open mind - who knows what the situation will be in the 7 years or so that our 11+ children will be attending? Oxbridge will not necessarily be the gold standard then - I don't think its unreasonable to look farther afield to MIT etc.

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Best Regards,
Thea


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 11:52 am 
It's never unreasonable to look further afield. Indeed, there may be, and are I'm sure are, bristish uni's offering courses that are preferable to those offered at Oxbridge. Lets just hope the student choosing to go to the other side of the atlantic makes his choice based on that and not for raising mother's social standing.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 2:10 pm 
The last sentence (above) is suppose to mean what, exactly? Where in the world are mothers/fathers etc. more infatuated with "raising" social class and standing than in the UK?

From a mother (and the person who started the topic) who simply wants her child to look as further afield as possible.


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