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PostPosted: Thu Sep 14, 2017 11:01 am 
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Joined: Mon May 01, 2017 7:14 pm
Posts: 4
My first ever post on the forum after months of membership...I must apologize for the length in advance!

This week DS will write the "super important", "larger than life" grammar tests for Bucks and Reading Boys.

There are heaps and piles of books and worksheets lying around everywhere in the house. A reminder of the months of hardwork my little one has put in. There are also other reminders scattered on the wall- a sign of my love for post-its:) The endless make-sure lists mommys write down preceding such heart-stopping exams : Iron the lucky-tee shirt, boil eggs, milk time, breakfast time, don't forget the toilet visit, practice deep breathing, sharpen pencils, don't eat too much, don't eat too little, don't sleep too much, don't sleep too little...!!! Who says exam time is only for children??!!!

My child had a one word advice for me- Chillax!

As I take a pause for a moment and think about it, I realize that this is not the mom I really like to be! I am in fact the mom who plays endless indoor cricket and badminton with my child (blissful perks of a tv-free living room!!) I am the mom who truly believes in the means rather than the ends. So what is it that sets this panic in?

The last few months have been the most difficult, yet the best ones for us to witness and shape the learning process for our child as well as for us. The learning for DS was in terms of academics, the learning for us was in terms of not letting the twin monsters of expectations and judgement overpower our response to the grammar tests. The journey was not rosy at all, and like all 11+households, ours saw tantrums and anger and appreciation and rebellions and rewards on many occassions! Yet when today DS asked me if (after the tests) I can look for more challenging NVR and Math books for him as he finds it fun to solve it, I think our objective of studying is achieved:)

Today as DS gets ready for his exams, I am reminding myself that he is only a 10 year old who has shown tremendous mettle in hardwork, perseverance and patience in this process. The system ensures that only the top 15% will be offered a grammar school place. So success certainly is a reward for efforts but not qualifying does not mean failure at all!

Whether or not my child makes this should not matter now. The outcome doesn't make him any less or any more than anyone. The precious little child that he is, we value his efforts and perseverance more than the outcome.

The grammar school place is just one of the many many opportunities that life will offer him ahead. As parents, let us remind ourselves this in every moment of anxiety.

So let me reframe the beginning of this post....
This week my child will write the "important but not larger than life" grammar tests for Bucks and Reading Boys.

Good luck to all the kids for the tests!


Last edited by ChillaxMom on Thu Sep 14, 2017 9:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 14, 2017 3:40 pm 
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Joined: Thu Apr 27, 2017 4:35 pm
Posts: 7
Hi, agree with some of the sentiments of your post. Let me add my own succinct opinion "****** glad it's all over!" and "Never again in my life!"

Good luck to everyone! :D


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 14, 2017 5:38 pm 
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Joined: Tue Sep 12, 2017 12:52 pm
Posts: 61
Hi I can certainly agree with some of your comments also and to add to Beatrice1 'thank **** it's over' and only two years before my DS's turn!!! A grueling 4 weeks wait for results. Good luck to everyone also.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 14, 2017 5:55 pm 
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Joined: Thu May 05, 2016 8:51 pm
Posts: 18
Love this it has made me laugh and cry. Can relate to the books everywhere, the tantrums , the rewards. What an emotional rollercoaster this has been. Good luck to everyone and as someone said yesterday your best is always good enough. Thank **** it's nearly over !


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 14, 2017 8:23 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 03, 2014 10:24 pm
Posts: 1439
Location: Petts Wood, Bromley, Kent
DD sat her tests two years ago. We gave unused books to friends. Those that were part used we made a little bonfire of, it was very cathartic!

Good luck to those waiting for results.

It all worked out well for DD in the end but at one point she thought she'd really messed up one of the tests and we said very truthfully that whatever happened it had been an amazing journey, the learning would stand her in good stead whatever happened and at least she had tried her best.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 14, 2017 8:32 pm 
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Joined: Mon May 01, 2017 7:14 pm
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So the Bucks pit-stop was crossed today! Now en-route to ReadingBoys!!!
A one sentence feedback from DS about the test, "I'm not sure I really want to talk about it"... and we knew what must have happened... but it's all que sera sera from here!

When DS was getting "all-set" for the exam today, I was so overwhelmed recalling the journey so far. So i felt compelled to write as a reminder to my own good self that he deserves nothing but encouragement and kudos for the work irrespective of the outcome now..


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 14, 2017 8:38 pm 
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Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2007 1:21 pm
Posts: 16128
The Bucks Transfer Test actually selects about the top third - not 15%.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 15, 2017 9:08 am 
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Joined: Fri Mar 04, 2016 8:30 pm
Posts: 120
Well done and good luck to your son. I agree completely, we're still in the process (Y5) and I have to keep reminding myself it is important but not the be all/end all and whatever happens, no knowledge is lost. And yes, instilling the love of learning too.

Had to remind myself again yesterday when a tutor we were going to start with cancelled on us because we can't attend the 1st week's lessons as they clashed with Open days for prospective secondary schools, my daughter's birthday dinner, music lessons and church.

Apparently we should cancel everything if we were serious about the 11+. Having not met or assessed my daughter, she went on to imply she was already far behind having not joined the tuition centre since Y3. The whole 11+ feels stressful enough without a tutor's undue pressure.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 15, 2017 12:54 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 18, 2012 11:41 am
Posts: 9853
Location: Essex
ilelo wrote:
Well done and good luck to your son. I agree completely, we're still in the process (Y5) and I have to keep reminding myself it is important but not the be all/end all and whatever happens, no knowledge is lost. And yes, instilling the love of learning too.

Had to remind myself again yesterday when a tutor we were going to start with cancelled on us because we can't attend the 1st week's lessons as they clashed with Open days for prospective secondary schools, my daughter's birthday dinner, music lessons and church.

Apparently we should cancel everything if we were serious about the 11+. Having not met or assessed my daughter, she went on to imply she was already far behind having not joined the tuition centre since Y3. The whole 11+ feels stressful enough without a tutor's undue pressure.


Are you packing all those activities into one evening? How many sessions a week had you signed up for??

_________________
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.Groucho Marx


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 15, 2017 1:36 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2011 4:33 pm
Posts: 1763
ilelo wrote:
Apparently we should cancel everything if we were serious about the 11+. Having not met or assessed my daughter, she went on to imply she was already far behind having not joined the tuition centre since Y3. The whole 11+ feels stressful enough without a tutor's undue pressure.

Find another tutor.


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