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PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2019 11:53 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2019 11:01 am
Posts: 9
Can working parents help their child pass 11 plus exam and do housework as well?

My husband and I are working parents who work from 9 to 5. There are no grandparents or relatives who help with our housework. So every day, we go home, prepare meals and help our child with his 11 plus preparation. The child also goes to a tutor each Saturday.

Although it will be another year before our child sits for the exam, we already feel so exhausted and sometimes frustrated. I feel that there are too many exercises and tests that my child has to do each week, that even I feel tired when helping him.

During the last two years before the 11 Plus exam, do you need help with your housework? Or most people still do everything and yet, your children did pass the exam?
Thank you for your advice.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2019 8:34 am 
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Joined: Wed Jun 29, 2011 8:29 am
Posts: 1636
suxeprotolondonlo wrote:
Can working parents help their child pass 11 plus exam and do housework as well?

My husband and I are working parents who work from 9 to 5. There are no grandparents or relatives who help with our housework. So every day, we go home, prepare meals and help our child with his 11 plus preparation. The child also goes to a tutor each Saturday.

Although it will be another year before our child sits for the exam, we already feel so exhausted and sometimes frustrated. I feel that there are too many exercises and tests that my child has to do each week, that even I feel tired when helping him.

During the last two years before the 11 Plus exam, do you need help with your housework? Or most people still do everything and yet, your children did pass the exam?
Thank you for your advice.


Just let it slide, OP. What's a little filth and domestic chaos in the larger scheme of things?

Very alarmed to hear that the grandparents and relatives refuse to do your cleaning for you though. Tsk. I'd go NC if I were you.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2019 9:07 am 
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Joined: Fri Sep 15, 2006 8:51 am
Posts: 9678
piggys wrote:

Just let it slide, OP. What's a little filth and domestic chaos in the larger scheme of things?

Very alarmed to hear that the grandparents and relatives refuse to do your cleaning for you though. Tsk. I'd go NC if I were you.


I agree Piggys - more chaos the better.

Anyway OP is only working 9-5, there is plenty of time left in the day to do all the other bits and pieces.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2019 9:20 am 
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Joined: Wed Jan 18, 2012 11:41 am
Posts: 9683
Location: Essex
OP, does your friend with the future Oxbridge languages graduates have no advice to offer on the subject of household management?

Why can't you and DH get the vacuuming done on a Saturday while your DC is with their tutor? Or get him / her to help with the chores?

The DC, that is, not the tutor...

Although you could always ask...

_________________
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.Groucho Marx


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2019 1:28 pm 
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Joined: Mon Oct 21, 2013 7:59 pm
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OP - what did you actually think parenting would be about?!

Good grief...


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2019 1:38 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2007 2:32 pm
Posts: 7482
Location: East Kent
You could both chant times tables in several languages while sweeping the floor!
Multitasking is your friend
8)


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2019 2:01 pm 
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Joined: Tue Sep 27, 2016 9:52 am
Posts: 124
suxeprotolondonlo wrote:
So every day, we go home, prepare meals and help our child with his 11 plus preparation. The child also goes to a tutor each Saturday.

Although it will be another year before our child sits for the exam, we already feel so exhausted and sometimes frustrated. I feel that there are too many exercises and tests that my child has to do each week, that even I feel tired when helping him.

During the last two years before the 11 Plus exam, do you need help with your housework?.


Hi Suxeprotolondonlo,

In all seriousness, I think the real issue is that you are doing too much 11+ prep. Look through the threads. Most families do reading and perhaps times tables up until starting some more focussed work in year 5. The mantra is then ‘little and often’. If your DC is already working with a tutor you’ll want to keep in touch with how well DC understands the work but not much more. And keep it fun. I think your DC is at risk of burnout let alone you.

HTH
PS


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2019 2:53 pm 
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Joined: Mon May 16, 2011 1:05 pm
Posts: 6601
Location: Reading
If you are spending money on a tutor at this stage and are still doing more anyway, it might worth saving the money and use it to pay a cleaner instead.

However if you feel you need to have a tutor and still do extra work at home as well at this stage of the game, then you should look at whether your DC is actually suitable for a selective school.

Like every parent on here, it’s a question of choosing your priorities and working out what’s the best way of achieving what you want to achieve.

(My house is usually a bit of a tip regardless.)


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2019 2:58 pm 
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Joined: Fri Oct 16, 2015 9:17 am
Posts: 713
suxeprotolondonlo wrote:
Can working parents help their child pass 11 plus exam and do housework as well?

My husband and I are working parents who work from 9 to 5. There are no grandparents or relatives who help with our housework. So every day, we go home, prepare meals and help our child with his 11 plus preparation. The child also goes to a tutor each Saturday.

Although it will be another year before our child sits for the exam, we already feel so exhausted and sometimes frustrated. I feel that there are too many exercises and tests that my child has to do each week, that even I feel tired when helping him.

During the last two years before the 11 Plus exam, do you need help with your housework? Or most people still do everything and yet, your children did pass the exam?
Thank you for your advice.


Excuse my scepticism, but is this a serious post? Of course you can work, complete all chores and have a DC that ‘passes’ the 11+.

If you have already started with a tutor in what appears to be Y4, then you really don’t need to be doing too much more at home. The DC is too young for tutoring and additional work and should be enjoying their childhood. You need to be reading and reaffirming the basics in maths and English not constantly testing them.

I am, however, concerned reading your post that you are exhausted after working an 8 hour day and doing a bit of cooking and cleaning. Are you eating properly, drinking plenty of water and sleeping? If you are that exhausted perhaps you should see a doctor?


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2019 3:05 pm 
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Joined: Mon May 16, 2011 1:05 pm
Posts: 6601
Location: Reading
Quote:
I am, however, concerned reading your post that you are exhausted after working an 8 hour day and doing a bit of cooking and cleaning. Are you eating properly, drinking plenty of water and sleeping? If you are that exhausted perhaps you should see a doctor?


There’s been quite a lot of publicity about haemochromatosis in the last few days. It can cause bad fatigue amongst other things, I know someone with it.
https://www.nhs.uk/news/medical-practic ... estimated/


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