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 Post subject: To visit the grammar?
PostPosted: Fri Jan 17, 2020 12:04 am 
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Joined: Mon Nov 04, 2019 5:39 pm
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The situation we’re in, we have an outstanding local comp and a outstanding grammar within catchment.

We’re keen for our son to take the 11+ although would be happy with the local comp.

On practice test papers, he hasn’t been getting brilliant scores but we do feel he is capable of doing better with a bit of work.

The question is, the grammar is holding tours in March but we don’t know whether to go and visit with our son? I guess we’re worried about what would happen if he really likes the school but then doesn’t get a high enough score to get in?

We don’t want to put any pressure on him or for him to be too disappointed if things don’t work out. On the other hand, seeing the school might inspire him to work a little harder if he likes the look of it.

What do people here generally do? Take their children to view all the schools?


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 17, 2020 12:33 am 
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Joined: Wed Jan 18, 2012 11:41 am
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Location: Essex
JP2010 wrote:
The situation we’re in, we have an outstanding local comp and a outstanding grammar within catchment.

We’re keen for our son to take the 11+ although would be happy with the local comp.

On practice test papers, he hasn’t been getting brilliant scores but we do feel he is capable of doing better with a bit of work.

The question is, the grammar is holding tours in March but we don’t know whether to go and visit with our son? I guess we’re worried about what would happen if he really likes the school but then doesn’t get a high enough score to get in?

We don’t want to put any pressure on him or for him to be too disappointed if things don’t work out. On the other hand, seeing the school might inspire him to work a little harder if he likes the look of it.

What do people here generally do? Take their children to view all the schools?


Why not take him and explain that it's just one of the schools that he may be able to apply for, but one which means doing well in an entrance test to be eligible to be considered for a place there? In other words, the truth :). None of our three DC has had any problem with understanding the concept. If you don't go, when otherwise do you and he have a chance to look round the school before the exam, or at least before the CAF submission deadline?

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 17, 2020 6:55 am 
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Joined: Mon Oct 21, 2013 7:59 pm
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Totally agree.

Taking the 11+ just opens up possibly more options. Remember there is no guarantee he will do well enough - think of that advert: “I like this one, and I like this one”!!

If he absolutely hates the grammar school then you can choose not to continue his 11+ journey if you want to, but if he (like most teenage boys) thinks it’s “alright” then it keeps options open longer.

The mistake parents make is implying (actually or implicitly) that by going to look round the grammar school the child is making a "choice" - they are not - you are merely considering whether it is on an options list - there are no guarantees any child will pass the 11+ (although this does surprise very many parents every year on here, who assumed their child would.)

Talk about it in terms of increasing options rather than choices.

(edited for appalling, no glasses, early morning spelling errors and for brevity!)


Last edited by kenyancowgirl on Fri Jan 17, 2020 9:37 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 17, 2020 7:58 am 
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This is just our experience , but the child who hadn't looked round the grammar school and wasn't really affected by the whole hype of it all, passed the test. The one who had looked round the school and knew all about the school, didn't pass and was extremely upset. I think at that young age they are all different, but I have quite a few friends whose children didn't pass and had all looked at the schools in year 5.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 17, 2020 8:32 am 
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Deb70, that’s what I was worried about. I wonder whether it’s best to not look at the school, put no pressure on (as may fail anyway) and then what will be will be.

It’s so hard to know what to do for the best.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 17, 2020 9:42 am 
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Joined: Sun Aug 19, 2018 3:57 pm
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We have always presented the idea of taking the 11+ as providing the DC with more options to choose from. DS was v borderline re likelihood in passing (spld issues) so we only took him to see one of the grammar options in yr 5 (the one I thought he would be most suited to). He loved it, which made the following few months a lot easier as he was inspired to study to get in (but also harder as I didn't want him to be disappointed). For him the prize was the school (not the x-boxes etc that some of his friends had been promised). In the end he surprised us all and he got in to several grammar schools, but he stuck with the grammar he loved from year 5. So far he is thriving and really happy there. I do wonder if he would have passed if he hadn't been inspired by visiting the school.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 17, 2020 2:04 pm 
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Joined: Sat Oct 13, 2018 4:00 pm
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I personally don't see any benefit of visiting grammar schools in year 5, I think it puts pressure on them. We visited in year 6 with my middle child, after he'd taken the test. He loved the school so much but knew by then that there was no point stressing as the test was done and we were just waiting for the results. He did a bit of prep for the test over the summer but really just to give the eleven plus a go and see what happened. It was kind of, let's do a bit of work as we've got nothing to lose.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 17, 2020 7:19 pm 
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Joined: Wed Mar 08, 2017 10:21 pm
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Hi

A happy child will thrive...if you don't look how do you know?

I looked around schools before I took my DD to any. I was only going to take her to schools that i was happy with & we could manage logistically. We presented her with options with the honesty that to come to this one you need to sit a test versus this one you don't. She made the decision that she was prepared to sit a test as it was the school she preferred. It motivated her to study too. I think we prompted her to think about the reasons she preferred one over the other - like facilities, feel / atmosphere so it wasn't just a random preference. It kept our options open for longer. We had a back up that we were both happy with for our CAF forms.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 21, 2020 1:07 pm 
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My answer may not be very popular. But I believe at 10, a child is not too young to realise the benefits of making the most of available opportunities and learning to handle disappointments if it doesn't go to plan. I would rather that than being risk-averse and not even trying at all. This is what happens in real life....


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 21, 2020 8:48 pm 
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Real life is indeed full of disappointments which we have to learn to handle. I think the concern was if a child setting their heart on a school before taking the 11+ would cause pressure that would adversely affect them during the 11+. I say let them visit after they take the test. If they don't get in, they can then learn how to deal with disappointment! (Hopefully not though!)


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