How does everyone cope with the stress after the exams? My son sat his exam on saturday and Im more worried now than I was before he sat it. Somehow it seemed better when i felt we could do something to help but now he keeps telling me that he hasnt got in because he missed so many questions. What will the pass mark be. Some say 94% which seems ridiculously high in an unfamiliar sitiatuon. I feel so worried as i cant afford tos end him private and the other schools round here are awful.

Dear Guest,

May I sympathise. I have been through the 11+ with several children and it does not get any better. I agree that the after exam stress is worse than the pre exam stress. In Essex It used to be awful waiting 7 weeks from exam to result but then the 11+ was later than it is now and at least your result showed exactly how a child had performed and gave the final answer to whether a child had been offered a selective place. Now, the exam is earlier and I think the wait from exam to offer day is around 13 weeks which is torture.

I found that after the children had taken the exams, I would go to bed and keep going through what they had told me about them, trying to work out the "maths" regarding the percentages that they may or may not have achieved, etc and the nightmares!!!! I could go on. I think the children were fine, my husband was also fine but me, well......

I can only say to you that you are not alone. Believe me when I say that whether your alternative choices are awful or whether they are actually quite reasonable it doesn't make an ounce of difference.

I think that one of the problems is that your child has probably been "training" and there is always the thought that if they do not get the coverted place then the effort has not been worth the while and the child will feel let down. Noone wants their child to feel bad about themselves. It is a reall emotional rollercoaster.

Try to get your head round the idea that there is absolutely nothing you can do and only time will tell. Easier said than done but the only way to keep your sanity.

Incidentally, one of my children thought that they had done really badly on one of the papers and they passed. Equally, one of them also thought that the whole thing had been ok and did not get a place. You just can't tell.

One thing I always say to people is that generally if a child finds a paper particularly difficult it is likely that others felt the same. I remember also that when my first child sat the exam (the one who felt they had done really badly) that on going to school the following week, several other children said that they had found the whole exam really easy and that the particular paper which my child had found most difficult had been a breeze compared to the practice papers. None of these pupils passed. Interesting.....

Good luck. It will be over eventually!!

I fail to understand why some schools/LEAS choose to take such a long time to send out results. OK, so they have a heavy workload but they should consider what the children and parents are having to go through.

I agree totally my daughter sat her last paper on the 20th October and I've been a wreck since!

She thinks she's done ok,but from passed experience I've found she is pretty hard on herself, so I'm fingers, toes! and everything crossed that she's passed!
The papers that my daughter said were hard quite a few kids said they were easy also, so I'm wondering if the easy choice(multiple) stands out, without them looking hard enough for the REAL answer??..........................

So I can really sympathise with anyone in the same boat.

She gets her result on Friday 18th November but won't find out if there is a place if she's reached the cut off mark until next March.................................................

Footymad

I took Open University exams a few years ago and used to effortlessly forget about them until the results 2 months later. So I thought it would be the same for the 11+ results. But it's not. I have to make desperate efforts not to think about it, and any passing thought makke me feel likeI have been kicked in the stomach.
Good luck to everyone.

Hi,
I liked the way you described the feeling of the unknown reagarding 11+ results, waiting, thinking of how you're childs done etc as" being kicked in the stomach"

I know exactly what you're talking about.

My daughter gets her results today or tomorrow depending on the post!(we live on the border of two counties and it can take days for Yorkshire post to reach Lancashire depending on where the main sorting office is!! )

Doesn't help with the nerves or that kicked in the belly feeling

fingers crossed xxxxxxxxxx

Footy mad.

Please let us know how she gets on.

In Wirral, our children sit two VR 11+ tests this year on 29th.Nov & 6th Dec. and we won't know the result until 2nd March '06! So many LONG weeks/months 'in limbo' not knowing which school your child will move onto next September. Torture for both parent and child if you allow it to get to you!

Do any other areas wait this long?

W U A S

Birmingham - did the test on 5 November and hear the results on 1 March. Four months to wait!

Oh yes. Surrey, Sutton and Kingston tests coming up in the next couple of weeks. Looooong waiting time till March 06!

You are not alone!!

SB